Haunted Houses Don't Scare Me! ....But Plz To Not Haircut Me :C

There are days when sometimes I fear that I may actually be crazy or something because of all my ridiculously irrational fears. Perhaps some are more rational than they seem to be to me, I dunno. You tell me. Anyway, let's get this fat puppy rolling. 
Wait, be right back, I gotta stock up on microwave noodles and frozen chocolate pie.
Kay I'm back now. I don't know why I told you guys that I left and came back but I felt like I had to so I did.

(Look at that. I just illustrated my metaphor with a fat puppy rolling downhill. I'm a champion. Okay, now the real blog begins.)

Everyone has fears, right? Some of them make sense, some of them don't.... But they're still there. Mine seem to be a tad....... Out there. Let me share a few:

Number One:
My biggest fear lately (as you already know) is dying too soon. I know it may not seem all that ridiculous, seeing as a vast majority of the human population fears death, but I'm almost absolutely 75% sure that I am most definitely going to die before I have a chance to be an adult. It's really fucking scary. I mean, I really wanna grow up and get married and get a job and ALL that fun stuff! I mean, it's gotten better after a while, but it still scares me to death (ha ha.... Pun).

Nuuuuumbah Tew!:
I am scared of the dark. No, not what's in the dark, and no, not what I can't see, but the dark itself. It's just... It feels so dead and stuff. I dunno how to explain it... MOVING ON!

:eerhT rebmuN
The movie "Teeth". Then again, she has TEETH in her......... Her lady parts! How is that NOT fucking scary?!

Guys, would you fuck this chick? Didn't think so.

#4:
I'm not necessarily (I can never spell that damn  word right) afraid of this, but I still dread it with every fiber of my being.
Getting my hair cut.
It's just such a huge pain in the ass, and also I feel sorry for having to trouble StepMother to pay to get my split ends trimmed, so whenever my hair starts getting a tad too long, or my ends become a bit dry, I have a few mini-panic attacks that occur throughout the week/s until I finally get my goddamn hair cut and wait for the cycle to repeat itself.

Go (Five in Japanese):
Onions. I hate the taste of onions so much that I'm actually kind of scared to eat them. If I fear that a food may have onions in it, I might just not eat it at all, no matter what it is.

And, finally, munber 6:
I have this extreme, stress-inducing fear that I will never be able to do anything right. This includes drawing manga, writing blogs, nuking microwave noodles, digital coloring, and even petting my dog. Yes, I'm even afraid that one day I will pet my dog the wrong way and she will hate me forever.
Am I crazy?
.............
.....Nah, probably not.