Blog Block. Here You Go, Fuckers.

Television, you are the ruiner of lives. You fill children with false hope for the future and adults with painful memories of the past. You say "it's okay to dress like a hussy! No one will rape you!" and you tell us that we will find our true loves on any random day while walking out on the street. Well, you know what, television? IT JUST DOESN'T FUCKING WORK THAT WAY. The sooner you realize this, the sooner we can all be happy. Oh, and thank you for society's extremely strict dress code on "beautiful". That was a real piece of work. Thanks to you, people are starving and/or puking to death because of the desire to look like your latest representative. Yes, that was real nice of you. Asshole.

Raspberry-apple pie, I love you. You are fantastic. You are delicious. You are sexy. You are so wonderful that I am actually considering having an affair with you. In fact, if I decided to do so, I probably would not even regret it because you are just so awesome. Thank you for being so awesome.

Fuzzy jacket, how the HELL did you get all the way across the room? Did you fly, fuzzy jacket? Did you teleport? Do you have the power of teleportation? If so, why don't you ever share them with me? Do you hate me? Are you upset with me because I do not pet you regularly? Do I pet you too much? Would you like for someone else to pet you? Please respond. Thank you.

Raspberry-apple pie encrusted fork, please stop being encrusted in the delicious remains of my raspberry-apple pie. It is quite indecent of you.

Random illustrations, I sincerely hope that you will make this horrendous blog post worth reading.. Maybe.