Public speaking is like being sniped in the brain by a drunk, old man, but you're still alive, so you lay on the ground, bleeding and flailing, dying a horrible, painful death.

As the title of this post may indicate, I hate public speaking. This includes giving speeches, oral reports, answers to homework, speaking the lines in a play, or being forced to sing while others are within hearing range.
I hate hate HATE it.
For, you see, I suffer greatly from crippling stage fright. If you put me up in front of a group of people and tell me to speak one line, I will suffer through extreme anxiety and panicked nerves until my part, and then I will stare at the ground, say my line in the most bland, neutral tone possible, and nearly die of relief when it's all over.
When I am speaking, I will stutter, mumble, my speech will begin to slur, and sometimes, I may even suffer from a dizzy spell or two. All caused by sheer terror.
Some days I wish I could simply strut up there, say the things I am told to say in loud confidence, and proudly glide back to my seat. But I'm too afraid to try that, seeing as I may end up looking like a fool because I'm trying to sashay my way to the front of the room, only to trip myself and stumble over pure air. And if THAT happens, I'll be too embarrassed to speak in a bold, audible tone, and will mumble my way through quickly and quietly, and may even have to repeat myself, therefore having even more humiliation thrust upon me. After I've been mentally scarred for life, I will be too devastated to redeem myself by successfully swaying to my seat (or at least attempting to), and will simply shlump my way through, and plop down into my chair, knowing for sure that my face has taken on a new shade of red that is too bright even for an apple.
So if you ever want someone to motivate, educate, or merely entertain the majority of the student body (or any group of people, for that matter), PLEASE pick anyone but me.