Fathers

 Last night I had a dream in which I was searching through pictures on my phone or computer (not sure which it was), and I found a folder titled "Dad". Inside that folder were pictures of a man I've never met in my real life, but seeing them made my eyes well up with tears. In the dream, that man was my real father, only he had passed away.
  Later in my dream I had what I believe was a flashback involving my supposed "father," and in this flashback, I was simply talking to him. Then he'd make jokes and we'd smile and laugh... And soon after I woke up. When I woke up, I was... Well, slightly depressed.

  What this shows is that I'm so unhappy with either my real father or my current relationship with him that I'd rather have a great dad who had died than him. I've known that I've felt that way for a while, but I never thought it was this bad. And what makes matters worse is that I don't have another father figure to compensate for it. Although it does help explain why I often find men who act fatherly attractive, I'm still rather upset about all this.

 The problem is, I don't know what I can do to fix it...